My first day as a locum had already had some excitement. What with dogs straying into my office and babies peeing on my brand new clothes. There
was worse to come

She walked into the surgery and sat down. I looked up from my desk and my breathing stopped. Sitting opposite me was the most beautiful woman I had seen in my short life. She wore a mini skirt that, as she sat, showed a lot of leg. I was speechless. She looked like my dream come true, except lousy timing. I imagine I was either bright red or white as a sheet and she looked cool as a cucumber – totally at ease. I had to look away, ‘God I hope she doesn’t have a problem below her neck”. “Doctor”, she uncrossed her legs and I could see her nickers, oh dear. “I
have a sore throat, Can you have a look for me?”

“Certainly, “I said, What a relief, I can handle a sore throat. I walked from behind my desk. I pressed her tongue down and shone a light at the back of her throat. I could feel my heart pounding at about 140 a minute.She caught my eye. I couldn’t look away. I removed the spatula from her mouth. She licked her lips. She smiled.

“Hows my throat?” I told her it looked okay to me. “I have another problem for you doctor”. Oh God! Here it comes. “My bottom is itching and painful.” I suggested she should have some treatment for worms, “I had some already”, no escape.

Oh boy! There’s no nurse. I’m in trouble. I desperately tried to think of a way of getting out of having to deal with her nude. There didn’t seem to be one.

“You will have to come to the examining room”. she smiled attractively. Is she playing games with me’? “You can undress behind the screen and I’ll come back in a minute,”

“It’s okay”, she said, There in front of me she took her skirt and nickers off, “Do you want me to take my top off too?” I wanted to run, mummy, anybody, I needed rescuing.

She lay on the couch and pointed her arse straight at me. I took a look at her backside. It looked perfectly normal to me. To do a proper examination I would have to put my finger in her rectum, then use a proctoscope, put that in and look. I was dreading it. I put my finger in and she groaned a pleasurable groan followed by a moan. Next I put the proctoscope in and she said, “Whooa that’s cold, I’d prefer you to use something warmer”, By this time, I was praying that I might be allowed to get out alive.

“I can’t find anything wrong. You probably need a different treatment for worms,” I stammered.

“Thank you doctor that’s very good of you, Oh! there is one other minor problem”. I felt cold sweat trickle and then flow. I also noticed a strange foxy aroma come from my armpits. I was in absolute fear. I wanted to run “I have had some bleeding from my vagina”. With that she turned round opened her legs and began to show me the anatomy of her genitals.

“I really think I have done enough for today and unless it is really urgentcan you please come back tomorrow as the nurse will be here to help”, and hold my hand, I thought.

“I would like to get it sorted today. I have to go back to university tomorrow and the doctor there is a dirty old man, not a nice one like you”. I refused. I simply said “No”. I’d reached my limit. She got up, dressed, walked slowly up to me and passed, very close thanking me for the new script and left. I sat down outside and lit a cigarette under a no smoking sign It took a good half an hour to fully recover.

P.S.Here’s another example of me sinking deeper and deeper into discomfort. This is an awful memory for me. I felt so trapped and cornered. I was cornered by my own inability to respond appropriately to my feelings.

I could have said, “Excuse me you are so beautiful and attractive to me there is no way I can be objective with you. Will you please see another doctor”. Now that would have taken some courage and the story would
have had a different ending, most definitely: not a good idea.

I could have asked her. “Excuse me are you playing games with me”? Nope very bad idea. Asking the question would certainly have changed the atmosphere.

Out of fear of being found out I ploughed on getting myself into deeper and deeper water. By letting it continue, it could have ended up with me being accused of some sort of sexual inappropriateness. I wonder whether that has happened before?

After all she may have been genuine and the whole thing was in my imagination. She probably was genuine and the whole awful event was driven by my youthful, testosterone driven attraction to her, ignorance, a lack of emotional intelligence, cowardice and whatever else.

What on earth is this kind of attraction about. It doesn’t involve much thinking initially. It simply bursts into awareness. Why with this woman? I didn’t know her and had never seen her before. Can’t be just looks, can it? Chemistry some folk call it. What does that mean? It’s a mystery.

I soon learnt to suss out potentially tricky situations at the very beginning of a consultation. This one wouldn’t even begin to be a problem now. “The nurse is off sick. For your safety and mine I can only sort your sore throat for you today, sorry.” End of story.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy smartphone.